Lurking in the deepest seas,
Around the British Isles,
Hides a giant killer crab,
Who once starred on “X files”.
It swims up just below your feet,
Then grabs them with its claws,
And pulls you deep beneath the waves,
Like something out of “Jaws”.
CRAB-O-LOSSUS is its name,
With claws as big as cars,
The locals think It’s not from here,
It’s possibly from Mars.
Many harbour fisherman,
Have tried to kill the beast,
Boasting what a meal they’d make,
A massive crab meat feast!
But so far, everyone has failed,
To bring the beast to shore
The Mayor put up a big reward,
Ten thousand quid or more.
At least three hundred swimmers
Have been pulled beneath the waves
And bits of their anatomy,
Turned up in local caves.
The tourist season looked quite bleak,
No swimmers in the seas,
The cafes and the pier shows closed,
No more nice cream teas.
Then little nipper, Timmy Boyd,
A young, but clever chap,
Took a boat out late at night,
And set up a crab trap.
He caught the killer creature,
Then slammed shut his trap doors,
And knocked it out with such a blow
From one of his boat oars.
Now they keep it in a tank,
For all the world to view,
And tourists have been flocking back,
To pay to see it too.
The moral of this story,
Is take your deepest fears,
And capture them, or knock them out,
Then dine on them for years.